The Retort

George Pope Morris (1802–1864)

OLD BIRCH, who taught the village school,

Wedded a maid of homespun habit;

He was as stubborn as a mule,

And she as playful as a rabbit.

Poor Kate had scarce become a wife

Before her husband sought to make her

The pink of country polished life,

And prim and formal as a Quaker.

One day the tutor went abroad,

And simple Katie sadly missed him,

When he returned, behind her lord

She shyly stole, and fondly kissed him.

The husband’s anger rose, and red

And white his face alternate grew:

“Less freedom, ma’am!” Kate sighed and said,

“O, dear! I didn’t know ’t was you!”