The World’s Wit and Humor: An Encyclopedia in 15 Volumes. 1906.
Andrew V. Kelley (Parmenas Mix)He Came to Pay
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And his elbows at rest on his knees;
He was tired of the ever-increasing demands
On his time, and he panted for ease.
The clamor for copy was scorned with a sneer,
And he sighed in the lowest of tones:
“Won’t somebody come with a dollar to cheer
The heart of Emanuel Jones?”
And a rap-a-tap loud at the door,
And the flickering hope that had been long deferred
Blazed up like a beacon once more;
And there entered a man with a cynical smile
That was fringed with a stubble of red,
Who remarked, as he tilted a sorry old tile
To the back of an average head:
“You’re as welcome as flowers in spring!
Sit down in this easy armchair by my side,
And excuse me a while till I bring
A lemonade dashed with a little old wine,
And a dozen cigars of the best….
Ah! Here we are! This, I assure you, is fine.
Help yourself, most desirable guest.”
Till his face wore a satisfied glow,
And the editor, beaming with merriment, joked
In a joyous, spontaneous flow;
And then, when the stock of refreshments was gone,
His guest took occasion to say,
In accents distorted somewhat by a yawn,
“My errand up here is to pay——”
Put a stop to the speech of his guest,
And brought in a melon, the finest the land
Ever bore on its generous breast.
And the visitor, wearing a singular grin,
Seized the heaviest half of the fruit,
And the juice, as it ran in a stream from his chin,
Washed the mud of the pike from his boot.
Which the scribe had laid carefully by,
The visitor lazily rose to his feet
With the dreariest kind of a sigh,
And he said, as the editor sought his address
In his books, to discover his due:
“I came here to pay—my respects to the press,
And to borrow a dollar of you!”